The Wandering Thoughts of Turtles
Vol. 9: The Delightfully Doomed Dimension
Dearest Architects of Mayhem and Metaphor,
Somewhere between a bad idea and an interdimensional glitch, a story tore a hole through the fabric of space, waved politely at the laws of physics, and rewrote itself in cursive.
This is where you have arrived.
Shoelaces are now theories. Mirrors are citing existential misalignment. And time refuses to walk in a straight line.
Welcome to the coziest corner carved from ink and impossibility. A space stitched together by storylight and starlore, where the tea never cools, the chair fits just right, and the walls know how to keep a secret.
We lost the map but found the punchline. Pull up a floating chair and pass the reality-flavored popcorn.
This Week’s Literary Crime:
You tried to write a simple alternate dimension. A little pocket universe. A harmless side plot.
A bit of cosmic spice.The character from Chapter Three started dating a sentient galaxy.
The subplot formed a cult. The cult unionized. And the union staged a rebellion against your climax.
Now you’re emotionally attached to the dimension you never meant to build.
Well done. You broke genre. We’re all so proud.
Absurd Writing Research of the Week:
Query: “What are the long-term psychological effects of forcing your protagonist to relive Chapter Three for narrative symmetry?”
Findings:
By the third repetition, most characters begin developing a sarcastic internal monologue and a minor god complex.
Dialogue degradation occurs by loop five, where characters abandon plot and start addressing the author directly.
At repetition seven, the setting begins rebelling—walls melt, pets speak in riddles, metaphors grow legs and escape.
Additional Notes:
Writers have reported phantom paper cuts, haunting soundtrack loops, and one case of their keyboard spelling HELP ME without input.
One researcher became trapped in a recursive footnote about recursive footnotes. They are still down there. We send snacks.
Conclusion:
Narrative symmetry is a beautiful beast—until it starts demanding sacrifices. Proceed with caution. Or don’t. Time is a circle, after all.
Unhinged Poll of the Week:
Which interdimensional visitor most recently hijacked your plot?
A) The Sentient IKEA Bookshelf—Knows your secrets. Rearranges your climax alphabetically. B) The Parallel Universe Editor—Fixes your plot holes with existential dread. C) The Genre Tourist—Arrived from Romance. Accidentally started a heist. D) The Fourth Wall Crasher—Makes eye contact with your reader. Winks. Leaves. E) The Narrative Poltergeist—Rearranges your paragraphs while you sleep. Has opinions.
Vote with reckless confidence. Or let the characters vote for you. Again.
Scattered Whispers from the Void:
The void has been screaming — and it wants us to introduce you to
. To keep things simple, this monster of a writer is in a bind due to trash management and it is more than safe to say that, this is someone who deserves all the help they can get.So, we wanted to take the space to shed more light on what he is offering in exchange for extra blessings and help to send his way. The linked post below will give you all the information you need but let’s just add that what you’re getting is WORTH:
“Introducing PABLO, MICHELIN POET.”
As it has been relayed before; Pablo week is still in full effect here. Pablo Báez of Chrome Hearse Express writes literature to some of the highest degree. His work is one of a kind, and I MEAN THAT. It is the kind that encompasses nearly everything the form has to offer. It is experimental and full of soul. He is what I believe to be an embodiment of what great literature is and is someone who is pushing the art form forward. Below is just a taste of what he’s been pumping out for people who have ordered personal poems from the man himself (Be WARY OF GREATNESS):
WANT TO REALLY HELP? (for the first three poems or recipes purchased, will match it with ten dollars. [I am a ‘broke’ college student so bear with me] Required proof in DM.)
Whispers from the Turtles:
“This week, we saw writers chase the sky sideways. We watched words bloom like static. We read spells disguised as paragraphs. Every page turned summoned a ripple. Every ripple broke a rule.”
You are the quiet magic the world forgot it needed—and still waits to follow.
Fellow Writers & Worlds to Watch:
Let us introduce something not far from the realm of literature, but some music. Dive into obscure and lost tunes that feel timeless.
runs the Wolf Tracks Substack. A place full of songs, including commentary and even poetry.One of my favorites from the page itself was, “In the Year 2525.” A ballad on time and longing.
The void has brought along another poet.
pushes a voice full of classical rhythm into the lens of modern emotion and ideas. While also maintaining the depth of those emotions that we experience. Their latest piece really showcases an amazing take on the form as a whole, while just offering a sliver of what they constantly push out on Substack:We also wanted to give a little shoutout to
. Especially her post, “My First Foray into Drabbles.” A selection of a few one hundred word short stories. My favorite lies on the bottom with, “yotsuya kaidan (四谷怪談).”Things are left perfectly unsaid in that piece. Very beautiful work.
And lastly,
. Who has taken up the task to translate his grandfather’s words for us here on Substack. And it is an honor to read them.The prologue alone offers insight that’s steeped in wisdom and care. Which goes hand in hand with Ricardo’s translation and additions to his own grandfather’s words. It’s a fantastic read and the love is felt through everything surrounding it.
[Beltrán de Quirós]: These ones, some others...and the seibo! - 0 - ‘Prologue’
Inkborne Prompts A Chronicle of Creation:
Last and This weeks prompts . . .
May 19 - May 24
Secret (Open Genre)
In the space between stars lie secrets even the cosmos won't dare to speak. Sparks of memories from every aspect of the universe are locked away in this space. Treasure yet to be found.
One day, as you sit quietly contemplating the digital barrage of information on your phone, a ringtone comes through. Unfamiliar and certainly not yours.
So you investigate your settings only to find an unknown signal, coming through the phone itself. A message - trying to talk to you.
Ugly (Open Horror)
The ugly, ugliest, and uglier. The nasty — grimy — pieces of yourself that are just as important as the squeaky, shiny, and superior clean.
Within yourself is all of yourself. Even the parts you wish to forget. Even the parts that crust up like barnacles on the bottom of a ship. The crust of the puss that pops out of pimples. The foam of dead milk and wisened piss.
You’ve seen it — you know it.
Find the ugly and appreciate it, mold it, and make it yours.
👻👻👻👻👻👻👻
Unravel (Threadborn Reverie)
Unravel to reveal what lived beneath the threads.
Write the moment it came undone.
The breath before the tear and weight that slipped free once the seams gave way.
Within the unraveling lives truth.
Within what’s left—grit, softness, wild memory.
Let it whisper. Write what clawed its way from the tangle and refused to stay bound.
May 26 - May 31
Shear (Fracturesong)
A change that trembles.
That trembling—soft faultline between who you were and who you become.
A moment held in tension.
A truth surfacing beneath the fracture.
Let the break carry meaning and the fracture speak.
The shape that rises from it carries the weight of what once was—the quiet, fierce truth of what now begins.
Genre: Fracturesong
(Transformation hums through cracks. Stories bloom in broken mirrors, trembling glass, wilted petals. Magic lives in what bends. In what almost breaks. In what holds beauty through the shift.)
Hollowkind (Genre)
There are stories shaped in sleeping trees and mirrors left uncovered. They belong to the Hollowkind, the forgotten feelings that take shape when no one’s looking.
Write of joy born in silence. Of love that remembers through absence.
This is hush-magic. This is how we turn hollow into whole.
What tale will you breathe into the Hollowkind?
Genre: Lyrical Dream-Folklore (blends the poetic cadence of lyrical prose with the timeless weight of folklore, all wrapped in the surreal logic of dreams.)
Heartwarming (Open Genre)
The heat bursts onto the skin and pulses across and through like a cloth canopy. Everything sings into warmth as trees and planta arise alike. Leaves dance around the wind and breeze.
Hearts bloom and lips seize up. And sometimes, fire comes from the sparks.
Let the summer songs come through.
Create something the birds can chirp. Speak to the season, and let it speak to you.
What comes through the heart but blood?
The Reading List Tales Found Between Heartbeats:
Stories chosen from our prompt stories. Worlds worth reading. A list formed from the chaos and care of your imagination.
May 19 - May 24
Secret (Open Genre) Prompt:
Ugly (Horror) Prompt:
Unravel (Threadborn Reverie) Prompt:
May 26 - May 31
Shear (Fracturesong) Prompt:
Hollowkind (Genre) Prompt:
Final Thoughts from the Ink-Drenched Pages:
Reality bends in the hands of those who dare to write without a parachute. Your chaos builds new constellations.
Whatever you think is too strange, too wild, too unhinged—that might be exactly where the portal opens.
Write there.
The next world waits for your ink to shape it. Thank you for walking these pages with us—barefoot, bold, and burning bright.
You carry whole worlds behind your eyes. The ink remembers. The stars take note. We’ll see you between the next breath and the next unraveling.
The story never ends—it waits for your hands.
P.S.
Share your magic. We welcome your self-promotion and brilliance in our Subscriber Chat. Want to be featured in future issues?
Tag a friend, lift another creators work in the comments.
Submit your stories, poems, or microfiction to Turtles of Alchemy or join our weekly prompts. Your voice belongs here woven into the wild heartbeat of everything we are building.
Thanks for the mention, the works of my life...and music for all.
Thanks for linking my story!